Relate Well! Blog

Addressing the all-important and often perplexing topics and issues related to enhancing your personal growth and professional development

Fear – The Great Impostor

Fear wears many masks. Some of these masks include procrastination, avoidance, perfectionism, anger, passivity and impatience. These behaviors and emotions often reflect fears of failure, rejection, abandonment, loss of security, looking foolish and being taken advantage of. The negative attitudes and actions we possess will only change when we begin challenging our fears.

Here’s how:

Understand your true worth.

Your value as a human being is not based on the opinions people have of you or what you accomplish or achieve. Therefore, the experiences of rejection, failure, criticism and abandonment, although painful, can never diminish your true worth because it is inherent!

“Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.” Karl Menninger

Take positive action.

In other words, be willing to risk. Inaction or avoidance only breeds fear. Start off with small, relatively safe risks and then work your way towards the actions you...

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Where’s Your Focus?

How would you describe the quality of your life right now? Is it satisfying, positive and fulfilling or painful, difficult and discouraging?

Perception is reality

No one can deny that life can serve up some pretty harsh challenges. However, your quality of life isn’t based on circumstances as much as it is on what you choose to focus on. There are many things in life that we can’t control, but the good news is that we can control what we choose to think about. You see, what you focus on becomes your reality. Every day, it is your focus that influences what you feel, see and experience.

You see what you think about

To illustrate this truth, think about the last car you purchased. No doubt you thought about the make, model and even color you wanted for days, if not weeks, leading up to your final decision. Can you remember how many of the same exact vehicles you saw on the road both before and after the purchase? That’s right – it was like you saw the same car...

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It’s Summer! Are you Hot Under the Collar?

I think we can all agree that the weather has been a bit unusual in many parts of the country this year. It’s July, and some people are wondering if they will ever be able to put away their sweaters and winter coats. But many others are experiencing the summer heat with higher than average temperatures.

Extremes in the weather can have an effect on your physical and mental health, your attitude and your temper. This can lead to a greater level of stress, fatigue and irritability. Some of the factors to consider as you endure the hot days are:

Changes in your daily routine

For a lot of people, having the children out of school can be a lot of fun, but it can also add a lot of stress when you have them home all day (often accompanied by boredom and bickering) or when you have to arrange and pay for child care. If possible, coordinate with other parents to take turns supervising, transporting and entertaining the kids this summer. Many churches have vacation Bible school, the...

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Independence Day – They Paid the Price

personal growth Jul 04, 2019

On July 4, 1974, Paul Harvey aired his commentary, They Paid the Price, on his The Rest of the Story radio broadcast.  I have posted it today because I believe it is a great reminder of some of the sacrifices that were made in order for us to experience the freedom and liberty we have and celebrate this Independence Day.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

July 4, 1974 – Paul Harvey, News and Commentary

Americans, you know the 56 men who signed our Declaration of Independence that first 4 of July–you know they were risking everything, don’t you?–’cause if they won their war with the British, there’d be years of hardship and a struggling nation. If they lost they’d face a hangman’s noose. And yet there where it says, “We herewith pledge, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor,” they did sign. But did you know that they paid the price?

When Carter Braxton of Virginia, signed the...

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Simple Self-Care Advice for Improving Your Head-to-Toe Health

Today’s guest blog post is written by Kimberly Hayes, and I’m confident you will find her simple self-care advice to be informative and highly beneficial. – Dr. Todd

Doctors, personal trainers, life coaches, and the like can be helpful to all of us who try to live a healthy life. At the end of the day, however, we are responsible for our own well-being. That’s why taking steps each day to better our head-to-toe health is so important. If you’re looking to develop a lifestyle that fosters your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, here is some simple self-care advice to put you on the right track:

Indoor Air Quality

One of the most essential aspects of living healthy is ensuring that the air you’re breathing is clean, as the inside of a home is more prone to pollution than the outside. To remove as much smoke, dust, pet dander, mold, and pollen as possible, it’s important to replace your filters regularly. The severity of pollution in...

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Why Bad News Grabs Our Attention

Every day we are bombarded with television, radio, internet and newspaper headlines and stories that draw our attention to bad news.  We hear and read about natural disasters, economic uncertainty, wars and other tragedies that serve to trigger distress and worry in many people.

Did you know that 53.4% of the news on television alone depicts violence, conflict and suffering? The worse the report, the more likely it is to be the lead story because humans are naturally attracted to bad news. 

Humans exhibit this attraction to bad news thanks in large part to what is called the negativity bias.  This bias refers to a psychological phenomenon by which humans pay more attention to and give more weight to negative rather than positive experiences.  Researchers found that bad news… 

Attracts the pessimistic side of humans
Distracts us from boredom
Reminds us that we could have it worse
Reminds us to be careful and cautious
Often motivates us to take...

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Workplace Relationships: Key to Job Satisfaction

Finding the perfect position is only the beginning of job satisfaction. Have you ever heard someone say, "I’d like my job if it weren’t for the people I work with"? One of the greatest challenges in the workplace is getting along with other people. It hardly matters if someone is the best and brightest at what he does if he creates dissension in the office. Regardless of whether someone is hired to lead or be part of the team, it is the ability to establish functional and healthy workplace relationships that can make or break their success and job satisfaction.

The Supervisor’s Responsibility

A supervisor has a particular responsibility to create a satisfying and productive atmosphere that encourages others to reach their full potential. To inspire confidence and loyalty from others, he must lead by example. If he values punctuality, he should be punctual. If he insists on respectful behavior, he should demonstrate it in his treatment of others. If he wants to...

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How Is Your Life Balance?

Many of the patients and clients I work with daily express some level of frustration with their lack of life balance. Sometimes it is their work that steamrolls over their personal life or prevents them from exercising, recreating, or spending meaningful time with the people they love. Others are so consumed with family issues and responsibility that there’s no time for a relaxing break.

The first challenge to having greater life balance is to figure out what, exactly, is out of balance. We have a simple tool to help you assess your life balance.

This exercise will help you gain greater clarity with regard to your level of satisfaction and effectiveness in the eight important domains of your life – Career, Money, Health, Friends & Family, Significant Other/Romance, Personal & Spiritual Growth, Fun/Leisure/Recreation and Physical Environment.

It will also help you identify your priorities for goal-setting by visually demonstrating the areas of your life that need...

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Do You THINK Before You Speak?

The way you communicate can make or break your relationships. It can gain or lose you a job. It can hurt or heal. It can affect whether you are successful or not. We are communicating more often than ever because the internet has made it easier to shoot out a meme, share a post or comment on someone else’s thoughts. The ease of communication is both amazing and deadly.

We all need to be reminded of the basics occasionally, so here’s a simple way to THINK about what to say, either in person or electronically.

T – Is what I am about to say Thoughtful? Have I considered the way people will see me once the words are out? Or how they will reflect on someone else? Do I have all the facts?

H – Is what I am about to say Helpful? Will my words add or detract from the purpose or value of the conversation? Is someone’s life or situation likely to improve because of what I say?

I – Is what I am about to say Inspiring? Will...

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3 Signs of Low Self-Confidence

We all feel inadequate or foolish at times. When these feelings are chronic, however, they lead to low self-confidence. People with low self-esteem develop habits and behaviors to cope with and avoid these negative, discouraging and uncomfortable emotions.

Healthy solutions to coping with low self-esteem essentially involve two options. First, you have to want to change and be willing to do something about it. And, second, you need to learn effective strategies for accepting what can’t be changed.

Maladaptive Coping Strategies

People who don’t pursue healthy options often default to relying upon “maladaptive coping strategies”. That’s a psychological term that just means “things that probably make matters worse instead of better”. In other words, they’re common, but terrible, ways to deal with low self-confidence.

In the extreme, maladaptive behaviors can include excessive drinking or drug use, abusing others the way you were abused...

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