Relate Well! Blog

Addressing the all-important and often perplexing topics and issues related to enhancing your personal growth and professional development

Leadership for Growth

If you are an owner or have any leadership role in your workplace, you care about the success of your business and your employees. In order for you to take your company from where it is today to where you want it to ultimately be in the future, you will want to pay close attention to these key leadership competencies that will lead your company and your team members to positive and profitable growth.   

Effective leaders… 

… Know their strengths and skill gaps.

Santa Clara University and the Tom Peters group identified a list of effective leadership qualities and characteristics and listed them in order of most important. 

Honest                                             Fair-minded

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Does Your Credit Score Reveal Impatience?

Did you know you can tell a lot about a person from just their credit score? You can certainly tell whether or not they will qualify for a mortgage, but researchers contend that they can also tell if someone is likely to be more patient or impatient simply based on their credit history.

Economists from the Federal Reserve’s Center for Behavioral and Economics and Decision-making surveyed 437 people asking them whether they would prefer a small reward now or wait for a larger reward later. Those who were willing to wait for a larger reward later had credit scores that were 30 points higher, on average, than those who said they’d prefer a smaller immediate payment. The findings also revealed that the most impatient subjects had average FICO scores below 620 – a commonly used cutoff for prime and subprime lending.

Patience – or lack of it – can make the difference between being able to buy a home or a car, qualifying for a good interest rate...

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Resolving a Bad Relationship at Work

The average full-time worker with two weeks of annual vacation spends up to 250 days or 2,000 hours each year on the job. Unfortunately, many employees spend this time interacting with co-workers they don't get along with, making their work situation almost intolerable.

If you have a problem with a co-worker and you're growing weary, don't despair. Although you can't guarantee cooperation from the other party, there are some practical things you can do in an effort to turn the relationship around. Review the tips below to see how you can confront bad work relationships.

  1. Take a good look at your own attitude and behavior first.

Before you complain or point a finger at your co-worker, take an honest look at how you might be contributing to the problem. Are you letting your feelings make you snappy, over-sensitive, jealous or uncooperative? Addressing your own negative attitude or behavior can often help decrease the distress brought on by the bad relationship and help...

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Are You Contented and Thankful?

I read a survey that revealed over half of all Americans would choose a new line of work if they had the chance. It’s amazing to think that every single day millions of people in our country spend their most productive hours at a job they wish they could change!

This statistic makes us ask the question, “WHY?” Is it because there are very few jobs that are truly satisfying and rewarding? Is it because they like the job but dislike the management or the people they work with? This is no doubt true in some cases because relationships on the job are such a big factor in how you feel about going to work each day.

But, I believe there is another important factor to consider: many people who are unhappy with their work are also discontented with other areas of their life as well. There are a lot of people who are living day to day with a general feeling of dissatisfaction in almost everything. Maybe you know someone who is never quite satisfied. Maybe you feel that way....

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Do You Worry About What People Think?

It has been said that more people are held captive in the prison of their own minds then in all the jail cells in the world… and worry is their Warden.  There are countless things we can worry about, but I have worked with many people who significantly struggle with the worry of what people think about them. 

Many of the decisions you make on a daily basis, e.g., the clothes you wear, the music you listen to, what you say in a conversation, or who you associate with, are governed, in large part, by a goal-directed conscious or unconscious process that attempts to influence what people think about you.  We call this process impression management. 

As humans, we all have needs for belonging, affection, and acceptance.  To not think about how others perceive you to some extent is to deny these needs.  Unfortunately, many people are trapped by a powerful impulse to over engage in impression management.  In other words, they are overly focused on...

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How Your Imagination Helps Build Confidence

The Power of Imagination

The other day I was watching my 4-year-old grandson using his imagination by acting like a “superhero”. He grunted as he lifted up his one-seater plastic car as though to save someone trapped underneath. 

I remember having two thoughts: First, “Wow, isn’t that adorable!” (Remember, he’s my grandson.) And, second, “I wish adults felt as free to exercise their imagination as toddlers do because it’s an incredibly powerful resource that only humans possess.” 

When it comes to building self-confidence, your imagination is one of the most powerful resources available to you. It can help you attack false beliefs and eliminate negative emotions and self-defeating behavior patterns. 

It’s your imagination that allows you to transport yourself anywhere in the world in a split second or to think about any healthy and pleasant scenario you desire. 

With practice, you can use your...

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You Can't Have Self-Confidence Without This

To feel satisfied and be truly successful in life, a person needs a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. Let’s look at what these qualities are and how they work together. 

“Esteem” in Latin means to appraise, value, rate, weigh, or estimate. Simply stated, your self-esteem reflects what you believe about yourself – positive, negative, or neutral. 

Your beliefs in turn influence the quality of your emotions. And, in many cases, it is the quality of both your beliefs and emotions that strongly influences and shapes your actions. 

Self-esteem generally covers two primary types of belief. The first involves beliefs related to self-efficacy. This fancy word means the degree to which you believe you can succeed at something or accomplish a certain task

For example, if you have a strong sense of self-efficacy and your boss assigns you a difficult project you may think, “Wow, this won’t be easy, but I can get it...

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The Painful Truth of Low Self-Confidence

Everyone Struggles with a Lack of Confidence at Times 

It is estimated that 85% of the world’s population experiences low self-esteem and consequently, low self-confidence at some point in their life.   

We all know the feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, or incompetence that accompany low self-confidence – and they are very painful. We can experience them at work, school, in our personal relationships, or in any unfamiliar situation. 

Low self-confidence is often at the root of disappointing friendships and love relationships. It can result in lower long-term income potential and missed opportunities for promotions. 

Low self-confidence is also correlated with substance abuse, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and other destructive conditions and behaviors. 

How Low Self-Confidence Affects Relationships 

Due to irrational fears and doubt, people with low self-confidence are more likely to have trouble starting and...

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Thriving in the "New Normal"

Most of us alive today have never been through anything like the Coronavirus Pandemic. We know that there have been other devastating illnesses in the past, but now it’s not just a page in a history book – now it’s personal! We are adjusting to unfamiliar, and often unwelcome, schedules and methods of doing what we used to take for granted in our everyday lives. “Normal” used to sound boring. Now it is our greatest desire.

Assuming that what we used to consider “normal” may be farther down the road, we come to a point in our lives when we realize we need to make the best of things as they are. This is particularly important if you are one of the many who are spending much more time at home, and especially if you live alone.

So, what can you do to infuse some “life” into existence during this time of increased isolation? Here are a few thoughts to get you started:

Put Your Imagination to Work

Albert Einstein said, ...

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Taming the Beast of Disorganization

Have you ever noticed that when you are disorganized life seems more chaotic and stressful? This experience often makes it difficult to know what to focus on or tackle first in an effort to regain a sense of calm and control. It’s frustrating to be late for work because you forgot an early meeting or to have to dig through a pile of papers to find the forms for a doctor appointment at the time you should be leaving the house. When I am disorganized, I find myself feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and off balance. The only way I can feel more settled and ready to face my day is by taming the Beast of Disorganization.

Here are two reasons why being organized helps you feel better:

It frees up time. Time is a very precious resource that can never be renewed. When you organize your mind and your physical surroundings you will be better equipped to identify what needs to get done and create a system to help you complete tasks efficiently. Having your life organized also helps to...

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