Relate Well! Blog

Addressing the all-important and often perplexing topics and issues related to enhancing your personal growth and professional development

Does Your Credit Score Reveal Impatience?

Did you know you can tell a lot about a person from just their credit score? You can certainly tell whether or not they will qualify for a mortgage, but researchers contend that they can also tell if someone is likely to be more patient or impatient simply based on their credit history.

Economists from the Federal Reserve’s Center for Behavioral and Economics and Decision-making surveyed 437 people asking them whether they would prefer a small reward now or wait for a larger reward later. Those who were willing to wait for a larger reward later had credit scores that were 30 points higher, on average, than those who said they’d prefer a smaller immediate payment. The findings also revealed that the most impatient subjects had average FICO scores below 620 – a commonly used cutoff for prime and subprime lending.

Patience – or lack of it – can make the difference between being able to buy a home or a car, qualifying for a good interest rate...

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How Good Deeds Can Affect Your Life

You just never know what impact your actions may have on someone else’s life... or yours. I have a favorite old story that illustrates this fact very well.

Late one night, back in the 1960’s, a man saw a woman standing on the side of the highway in the pouring rain. When he noticed her car was broken down, he decided to interrupt his own plans to stop and offer her a ride. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance towing her car and put her into a taxicab. Although she was clearly somewhat distressed and in a hurry, she thanked the man and took time to write down his address.

Now soaking wet and late, the man went on his way.

A week later the man received a large, unexpected package. It was a giant color TV, which was the latest and greatest technology at that time. The note attached to the package read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes but also my spirits. Then you came along....

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Are You Contented and Thankful?

I read a survey that revealed over half of all Americans would choose a new line of work if they had the chance. It’s amazing to think that every single day millions of people in our country spend their most productive hours at a job they wish they could change!

This statistic makes us ask the question, “WHY?” Is it because there are very few jobs that are truly satisfying and rewarding? Is it because they like the job but dislike the management or the people they work with? This is no doubt true in some cases because relationships on the job are such a big factor in how you feel about going to work each day.

But, I believe there is another important factor to consider: many people who are unhappy with their work are also discontented with other areas of their life as well. There are a lot of people who are living day to day with a general feeling of dissatisfaction in almost everything. Maybe you know someone who is never quite satisfied. Maybe you feel that way....

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5 Keys to Building Greater Stress Resilience

The first month of the new year has already proven to be a continuation of challenges and stress for many people in our country and around the world. 

With the ongoing needs to cope with and respond to the pandemic, as well as significant political events and transitions, many people face enduring uncertainty and discouragement. They were hoping that, once 2020 was over, life would settle down a bit – but most of the same stressors are still interfering with “normal” life. Clients frequently ask how they can learn to cope more effectively with the stress and negative emotions these challenges present. 

My recommendations for navigating this new year are the same ones I do my best to focus on every year. For me, these 5 intentional strategies have proven extremely effective in keeping me focused on what I need most to strengthen my resiliency to all types of stress. 

Here they are: 

  1. Commit to growing deeper in your faith. 

In an effort to...

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Is It Too Late to Mend a Broken Relationship?

The holidays are a wonderful time to get together with friends and family to experience the joy of laughter, reminiscing, and renewing connections.  However, it’s also a time when many people face the painful reality of not being with someone they love because of a broken relationship. 

During the holidays, I often meet with clients who are grieving due to being estranged from a parent, sibling, or other close relative or friend. 

Recently I had a woman ask me if it was too late to try and mend a relationship with a brother she had a falling out with three years ago.  I have summarized my response to her below. 

As long as the person you had a falling out with is still alive and is mentally competent it is never too late to make an attempt to restore the relationship you once had with them. 

You can not control the type of response you will receive, or whether or not you will even get a response, but you can control what you attempt to communicate...

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Do You Worry About What People Think?

It has been said that more people are held captive in the prison of their own minds then in all the jail cells in the world… and worry is their Warden.  There are countless things we can worry about, but I have worked with many people who significantly struggle with the worry of what people think about them. 

Many of the decisions you make on a daily basis, e.g., the clothes you wear, the music you listen to, what you say in a conversation, or who you associate with, are governed, in large part, by a goal-directed conscious or unconscious process that attempts to influence what people think about you.  We call this process impression management. 

As humans, we all have needs for belonging, affection, and acceptance.  To not think about how others perceive you to some extent is to deny these needs.  Unfortunately, many people are trapped by a powerful impulse to over engage in impression management.  In other words, they are overly focused on...

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Looking the Part of a Confident You

At the end of this blog post you will learn how to get our free resource specifically designed to help you in your confidence building journey.

When you engage in realistic standards of self-care, you will begin to view yourself more accurately and positively, which will help you look the part of a genuinely confident person.

What Does Self-Confidence Look Like?

Although your physical appearance does not add anything to your worth and significance as a human being, it cannot be denied that feeling and looking your best is a great way to increase your self-confidence.

The way you view yourself when you look in the mirror each day can have a significant impact on your self-talk, feelings, and behavior.  

It can make the difference between walking with your head held high and asserting yourself with confidence or behaving timidly and even avoiding human contact altogether. 

Although it’s very normal to have negative thoughts and feelings about your physique...

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How Your Imagination Helps Build Confidence

The Power of Imagination

The other day I was watching my 4-year-old grandson using his imagination by acting like a “superhero”. He grunted as he lifted up his one-seater plastic car as though to save someone trapped underneath. 

I remember having two thoughts: First, “Wow, isn’t that adorable!” (Remember, he’s my grandson.) And, second, “I wish adults felt as free to exercise their imagination as toddlers do because it’s an incredibly powerful resource that only humans possess.” 

When it comes to building self-confidence, your imagination is one of the most powerful resources available to you. It can help you attack false beliefs and eliminate negative emotions and self-defeating behavior patterns. 

It’s your imagination that allows you to transport yourself anywhere in the world in a split second or to think about any healthy and pleasant scenario you desire. 

With practice, you can use your...

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You Can't Have Self-Confidence Without This

To feel satisfied and be truly successful in life, a person needs a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. Let’s look at what these qualities are and how they work together. 

“Esteem” in Latin means to appraise, value, rate, weigh, or estimate. Simply stated, your self-esteem reflects what you believe about yourself – positive, negative, or neutral. 

Your beliefs in turn influence the quality of your emotions. And, in many cases, it is the quality of both your beliefs and emotions that strongly influences and shapes your actions. 

Self-esteem generally covers two primary types of belief. The first involves beliefs related to self-efficacy. This fancy word means the degree to which you believe you can succeed at something or accomplish a certain task

For example, if you have a strong sense of self-efficacy and your boss assigns you a difficult project you may think, “Wow, this won’t be easy, but I can get it...

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The Painful Truth of Low Self-Confidence

Everyone Struggles with a Lack of Confidence at Times 

It is estimated that 85% of the world’s population experiences low self-esteem and consequently, low self-confidence at some point in their life.   

We all know the feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, or incompetence that accompany low self-confidence – and they are very painful. We can experience them at work, school, in our personal relationships, or in any unfamiliar situation. 

Low self-confidence is often at the root of disappointing friendships and love relationships. It can result in lower long-term income potential and missed opportunities for promotions. 

Low self-confidence is also correlated with substance abuse, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and other destructive conditions and behaviors. 

How Low Self-Confidence Affects Relationships 

Due to irrational fears and doubt, people with low self-confidence are more likely to have trouble starting and...

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