Relate Well! Blog

Addressing the all-important and often perplexing topics and issues related to enhancing your personal growth and professional development

The Passion of Every Great Leader

Great leaders don’t often start out with a plan to make themselves great. In fact, it may surprise you how little great leaders think of themselves at all. Focusing on making an individual person great is a very small goal, but an individual with a willingness to sacrifice for something bigger can ignite passion in others and cause great things to happen.

We recently celebrated the memory of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and I was reminded of some of the ways he demonstrated great leadership. Here are five passions that drive some people to greatness and how we see them in action through the leadership of Rev. Dr. King.

 

Passion #1: To fix a problem – Some of the most significant achievements in history began when someone said, “This isn’t how things should be.” In 1955 an African American woman, Rosa Parks, was arrested for violating racial segregation laws in Montgomery, Alabama, because she refused to give up her seat on a bus for a...

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Don't Miss the Opportunity

Do you have plans to spend some time with the people you care about the most? If not, stop what you are doing right now and think about something special you can do with your kids, spouse, significant other or friend that you will really enjoy.

Sometimes our most special memories happen when there’s nothing special going on at all. I know Saturday mornings can be busy with household chores, but taking an hour to snuggle on the couch to watch cartoons with your kids can become a lasting memory. On the other hand, stepping away from the TV to take a moonlight walk with your spouse can bring you closer through unhurried conversation.

Coffee dates with friends can be very effective therapy for a stressed out mom or hardworking student. Men can experience some great bonding time by working together on a project. If you have a repair to do on your house or car, consider calling a buddy or a teenage guy to be your helper.

Life is jam-packed with obligations, work and...

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Counseling or Coaching? Getting the Right Kind of Help

A new year often inspires us to evaluate our lives, which frequently makes us want to change whatever is not working well or build upon what is. It can be helpful to bounce your thoughts and feelings off of someone else who can offer perspective and help you discover what is – or isn’t – within your power to change.

Since the 1980’s there has been a growing interest in the field of Coaching. There are several different types of coaching, e.g., Executive, Personal, Career, etc., and each serves a specific function related to helping someone achieve desired results. With the rise of coaching as a profession have come questions concerning the differences between the practice of coaching and counseling. Let’s look at these two different services in an effort to help you decide which one is right for you – counseling or coaching.

What is Coaching?

According to the International Coach Federation, coaching is an ongoing relationship between the...

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Making Christmas Merry

Holidays have a way of magnifying everything – both negative and positive. Whatever is happy, beautiful and fun seems even more prominent when Christmas lights are twinkling and pretty packages are sitting under the tree just waiting to delight someone you love. But whatever is sad, ugly and painful can also be magnified because it doesn’t fit in to our idealized image of what Christmas should be like. As my friend, Dr. Randy Carlson of Intentional Living has often said, “Expectation minus reality equals disappointment.”

I am going out on a tinsel-covered limb and guessing that there is something about this Christmas you wish could be different. The good news is you don’t have to let your circumstances ruin your holidays. Studies have shown that circumstances only account for 10% of your happiness. That’s a surprisingly small number! But boosting your happiness quotient doesn’t just happen by itself. You must be intentional about how you...

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Help, It's December!

personal growth Dec 14, 2016

If you are like most people, the month of December typically ushers in a dramatic increase in activity, responsibilities, and irrational expectations. If you are able to maintain a positive and realistic perspective during this busy time of year you are much more likely to experience a very special time of connection, celebration, and joy. To help you with this task, my good friend and co-worker, Liz Bailey, offers some timeless truths for getting the most out of the holiday season.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Some of my neighbors have had their Christmas lights up since before Thanksgiving. I am not sure if I resent them or admire them for being so far ahead on preparing for the holiday season. My feelings on the subject vary, often depending on my current state of mind. I waffle between being joyful that the holidays bring our family together and overwhelmed at the thought of how much time, money and effort it takes to make all that celebration work smoothly. And this mix...

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Strong People Skills = Career Success

Having trouble getting ahead at work? Research reveals that the higher you go on the career ladder the greater the likelihood that obstacles standing in the way of your performance, productivity and advancement are your own problematic behaviors and bad habits. In fact, it is estimated that 80% of those fired from their jobs are let go because of an absence of strong interpersonal skill rather than a lack of technical skill. Therefore, the higher a person goes in an organization, the more significant it is that their people skills (or lack thereof) will ultimately determine how far they will go in their career.

Below is a partial list of people skills that can help you achieve greater success at home and work. Invest in yourself, your relationships and your career by identifying the skills that may represent areas of growth for you!

Understanding others – It can be a challenge to slow down and take the time to better know and understand your coworkers, but it’s...

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Keys to a Life Well Lived

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday I want to encourage you to remember five critical keys to a life well lived. If you apply this advice daily to your life I’m confident that you will derive more joy and happiness this season than ever before. I challenge you to…

LIVE SIMPLY! We have been conditioned to want more of everything in order to satisfy our needs and desires. But I challenge you to take a courageous look at all the “stuff” you have in your life and ask if it is a benefit or if it is a burden. Some things we own create a need to store, maintain, and insure, which takes time, energy and money. Other things we think we need create clutter, which produces stress. Do you really need a separate set of dishes for every holiday and season? Do you really need every obscure tool in the Harbor Freight catalog? Do you really need to hold on to every book you ever read? Another challenge to simplify is learning to say “No” sometimes....

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How to Be Good and Angry Over Politics and Other Stuff

Man, have you seen the news lately? As if you could miss it…

It has been a brutal year, politically speaking. If there has ever been such a widely disputed campaign with such visceral reactions to the candidates, we’ve never seen it in our lifetimes. And no time in history has it been so easy to flood people’s lives with rhetoric, accusations, name-calling and polar-opposite viewpoints. If our earliest presidential candidates produced such hot controversy, the news didn’t travel so fast. We hear from multiple news outlets that Americans are responding to anger. Some were angry before the election; enough to vote for major change in the government. And now others are angry after the election because of the outcome. Government leaders are being met with a barrage of angry American citizens from both sides of the political spectrum.

All Americans have the right to get good and angry when they disagree with political leaders, but you have to ask if the way many...

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When You Don't Get Your Way

How do you respond when things don’t go your way or you don’t get what you want? The current news is filled with reports of people demonstrating their anger and rage about not getting what they want, and I am concerned that the methods too many have chosen to express their feelings are doing much more harm than good. The lack of ability to appropriately express anger and fear along with wants and needs is doing damage on a large scale in many cities, but it also impacts people on an individual level.

If it’s important to you to demonstrate maturity and self-control as well as communicate in a way that will give you credibility and reflect objectivity take the time and make the effort to be good and angry when you don’t get your way.

Life for you will always be difficult if you are unable to maturely, confidently, and fully express your concerns and let others know how you want things to change and that you’re willing to be part of the...

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Do You Listen With Your Eyes?

It was a normal night in the Towne home. I came home from work tired, hungry, and needing a safe haven to sit and be quiet. Four rugrats had learned to give Dad a break those first minutes upon entering their world of play, adventure, questions, and innocent zeal of life.

As I sat down, I put my legs up and began reading the newspaper to unwind. Checking out the headlines and moving to the sports page, I began to enter a zone, tuning everything out as I immersed myself in the world described in the printed page, hiding myself behind the opened newspaper print.

Kids were talking but I was in a comatose cubby. I would occasionally grunt a response, say a polite “Uh-Huh”, “Yep”, “Mmm”. It was then that my daughter did something that has stayed with me for the past 15 years. She pulled the paper down and said, “Daddy, I need to you to listen to me with your eyes when I am talking.”

There is a valuable lesson in that statement by a child...

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