Addressing the all-important and often perplexing topics and issues related to enhancing your personal growth and professional development
We have all heard that the majority of marriages end in divorce, and if you believe what you hear, you may think the tradition of marriage is doomed. But I recently read the research published by Shaunti Feldhahn based on census statistics and many other sources. In her book, The Good News About Marriage, she and her research assistant, Tally Whitehead, dig deep into facts, figures, trends, and urban legends about the state of marriage today.
The full scope of marriage research is too overwhelming to summarize in a blog post, so today we will look at two significant statistics about women that give us reason to hope.
In an excerpt from her article, The Numbers, Shaunti says, “The percentage of women still married to their first spouse and second spouse, on average, is 71% and 65% respectively. Note that although 41% of the baby-boomer generation (the highest-risk group) was divorced by age 50-59, their high divorce rate is primarily because of second and...
In my previous blogs we talked about the causes and symptoms of burnout, the importance of thinking differently and some ideas to revitalize your life to help break the burnout cycle.
In this final blog we will talk about Strategy#3: Recommit.
You may wonder why I would suggest recommitment so soon after your initial efforts to break the cycles that cause burnout. The reality is that it took awhile for you to get to that broken-down state of body and mind, and it’s difficult to make a full recovery. As you gain insight and make a little progress toward re-balancing your life, it will still be easy to become discouraged when it seems to take so long.
So, as you recommit to the process, here are some things to consider:
Career assessment – If you feel you are at a crossroads or a breaking point because you’re so burned out you’ve lost motivation and enthusiasm, it may be time to decide if you are doing what you really want to be doing. Talk with...
In my last blog I suggested that the first strategy for dealing with burnout is to Refocus. It’s important to move your gaze from the quagmire of stress and over-commitment and gain a new outlook. I urged you to think about how you think and shared some books that have helped me and a lot of others.
Today we will talk about Strategy #2: Revitalize.
If you neglect to put gas in your car you will soon find yourself stuck on the side of the road. The same is true of your body. If you neglect your legitimate physical needs – sleep, nutrition, and physical activity – you will burn out quickly.
Focused Relaxation – Several times a day practice deep breathing by inhaling slowly through your nose for about five seconds, then exhaling gently for eight to ten seconds. This will lower your heart rate and blood pressure and supply oxygen to your brain. Also try progressive muscle relaxation, which is simply tightening your...
“I hate my job because it’s consuming me; I miss my life and I can’t remember what it’s like to feel good. I wish I could just escape to a deserted island in the middle of nowhere!” Can you relate?
In today’s faced paced, hyper-competitive and tough economic times, a growing number of men and women are experiencing the painful effects of burnout. According to a CareerBuilding.com report, 77 percent of employees claim they feel burnout related to their jobs. In another national poll, over half of the respondents reported that they were less productive at work because of job stress.
Burnout has been defined as: “A state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by long-term exposure to a demanding work situation. Burnout is the cumulative result of stress.” The stress is usually caused by working long hours, decreased job security, unexpected and uncontrollable change, unfulfilled...
In my last blog I described some ways to determine if you may be experiencing burnout from your work and stresses. If you’re already struggling it can be difficult to muster up the energy to constructively address the problem when you are exhausted, but things are not likely to change if you don’t. As overwhelming as it may feel right now, there are strategies you can use to improve your situation and regain control of your life.
Today we will look at Strategy #1: Refocus.
Confront the Issue – Remember the saying, “If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got.” Making an intentional choice to interrupt the pattern of your life is the first step toward getting back into balance. This will require setting some time aside to think and plan. For most of us, the only “spare” time we have is whenever we usually watch television, so setting your favorite shows to record...
Most people have at some point in their lives had to deal with someone who refuses to lose. No matter how unreasonable their position and how obviously wrong they may be, they clamp down their jaw as instinctively as a bull terrier in a dogfight – and it seems nothing short of death will loosen it.
It’s often not that complicated to deal with this sort of person at a dinner party, where the simplest strategy may be to avoid them or to feign agreement for a couple of hours until you can escape after dessert. But in the workplace this is seldom possible, and if the bulldog is your superior, you can come away from discussions frustrated, angry and hurt.
William Ury, author of Getting Past No, provides five steps to surviving an encounter with a bull terrier boss, based on understanding the underlying motivations for their unreasonable decisions and resistance to cooperation. Here are five tips to help you achieve a win-win situation.
1. Control your...
Step One: Give them responsibility without authority – Many of us have had this experience: You find an item in a store that’s marked down to a sale price. The clerk scans the bar code and the regular price pops up on the screen. You point out that the item is marked with a lower price, and get “the look”. It’s the look that means, “There is nothing I can do about this. I have to go by what the register says or I get in trouble. And, before you ask, my manager is at lunch.” While you are rightfully annoyed by the snafu in your purchase, stop for a minute to put yourself in the shoes of an employee who is perfectly able to see the problem – i.e. the clearly marked sale price – and has no authority to do the right thing because the machine hasn’t been updated. There they stand, helpless, frustrated and directly in the crosshairs of your glare.
Employees who are well trained and given the authority to take...
If you ever suffer from insomnia and find yourself watching late night infomercials, chances are you have been tempted by products that are “guaranteed” solutions for aging well. Many people today are obsessed with trying to discover anti-aging secrets in nutrition, exercise, skin care, strong relationships, and the list goes on, in an effort to stay young – or at least young at heart.
Recent research conducted by the University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf in Hamburg, Germany, reports evidence that suggests if you want to age well you may need to learn how to effectively let go of regrets.
The poem Maud Muller by John Greenleaf Whittier ends with the well known line, “For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been!” Do you agonize about missed opportunities? Are you still fretting over decisions gone bad or risks you were afraid to take that may have paid off handsomely? If so, you...
No man is an island, according to poet John Donne. While we strive as individuals to shoulder our responsibilities, solve our problems and achieve our goals, the fact remains that we are always interconnected with other people. In a workplace team environment, the success of each individual and the success of the team are inextricably intertwined. That’s why it is important to make an effort toward building a healthy team dynamic.
Last time I presented the first 5 of 10 tips for team building success, so we will look at the last 5 today.
6. Involve your team in decision making whenever possible – Giving team members the opportunity to weigh in on important decisions helps to increase their sense of ownership, value and responsibility. Many companies have experienced great success and saved millions of dollars by listening to, and implementing, ideas from employees.
7. Keep your team well informed – A wise person once said, “What you are not up on...
The Apprentice television show revolved around the premise that a stable of young talent is trying to get a job with Donald Trump. In their endeavors they are challenged with weekly assignments. Be a leader. Sell product. Manage people. Ultimately, their goal is to win. But along the way the most successful candidates also learn something else – that a good team greatly enhances your personal success.
Whether you are responsible for one person or a whole team, there are several very important keys to managing people well. If you are a manager, review the tips below and assess how you’re doing and whether or not you can identify areas for improvement.
If you work under a manager, rate him or her on each of the behaviors below. If appropriate, be willing to offer feedback on how you perceive their effectiveness in the critical areas listed. Be sure to include both positive and negative perceptions – and be prepared to offer reasonable suggestions for how they can...