Do You Know What Really Makes You Attractive?

In his book, Be a People Person, Dr. John Maxwell identifies some of the personal characteristics that make people more attractive. He points out that it is the charismatic quality of an individual’s personality that makes them come across to others as warm, engaging and popular.

Dr. Maxwell uses the word CHARISMA as an acrostic to identify the specific traits he believes will draw the attention of others and help you improve your ability to relate well. Each of the traits in the acrostic below can be developed no matter who you are. I have added a few thoughts to Dr. Maxwell’s list to help you apply each concept to your own interactions with other people. I encourage you to commit these traits to memory and make the effort to consistently practice them in your relationships at home and work.

Concern: What you show – You have heard the saying that people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. Ask people about themselves and genuinely listen and express concern for what they are going through.

Help: What you offer – You can’t solve everybody’s problems, but offer what you can. It may be a hug, a prayer, a word of encouragement, a referral or something more tangible. Don’t promise anything that you can’t deliver, but give what you can.

Action: What you provide – Be a person who follows through on your word. Walk your talk, and your example will inspire others.

Results: What you produce – Do you create calm or chaos? When you’re working toward a goal, do people see positive or negative results? Your success shouldn’t require someone else’s failure. Be willing to help others achieve positive results as well.

Influence: What you do – If someone is looking to you as an example, it matters if you are spending your time on worthwhile efforts. Do your best to live up to someone’s admiration.

Sensitivity: What you follow – Being sensitive to the influences around you will help you make wise choices about what examples, philosophies and theology you choose to follow. Thoughtfully observe and study the outcomes in the lives of people who hold certain beliefs to determine what is effective and produces the best results.

Motivation: What you give – It won’t take long for people to figure out if you’re giving with selfish motives. Tax deductions are great, but when you give of yourself and your resources because something matters to you, others will want to follow your example.

Affirmation: What you share – True charisma doesn’t come from people who act as though they have their lives perfectly together. People identify with – and feel closer to – someone who shares their own vulnerabilities, struggles and lessons learned. Have the courage to present your true self to others.

Genuine charisma is a quality that causes other people to feel valued, appreciated, and cared for. When you carefully consider the feelings and welfare of the people you deal with every day, your words and actions will become attractive to others, and I can guarantee that your joy and satisfaction in life will grow!

Live, Work & Relate Well!

Dr. Todd